Assistant, Artist or Scientist?

Either way, she's a pain in my butt. Daphne would be who i'm referring to. Last week she was helping me do laundry and clean bathrooms. As she was spraying the Windex she said to me "I'm like your assistant hun mom?" She was a good little assistant on bathroom duty.

Then after the last load of laundry I was telling her how I used to get into the dryer when I was little, and I told her to get in. She tried it out and I grabbed the camera to get a photo:


Then she wanted me to do it. I've been known to squeeze myself into small spaces and I knew I could do it. And so I did. I was proud of myself.


Let us go to Monday. I was out doing yard work, getting all the dead perrenials cut down and bagged. It was a nice day out, so Daff and Phoebe were out with me, but they were in the backyard and I was in the front. It had been a while since i'd heard them so I thought i'd better check things out. I went into the back and only saw Phoebe. I asked her where Daphne was and she said "Nanny in the house". I walked into the house. Stopped. I smelled nail polish. Oh, she's dead! I called her name. No answer. I yelled that she better get her butt down her or... she came down the stairs. I asked her where the nail polish was and she said "I'll go get it, you just stay down here". Yea, red flags go up. I follow her upstairs to her bedroom where she hurries ahead of me into her closet and comes out with my silver nail polish. I asked her what she painted on. No answer, just starting at me. This makes me more mad, I hate no response. I asked her again, with a couple threats. Finally she said "nothing". I went into her closet to see if there was anything in there (she has a big closet) and found a postcard painted from end to end in, you guessed it, fresh silver nail polish. Luckily, she only got a little on her dresser where she painted it, and then she had carefully placed it on a tote in her closet. I was still mad and she got to sit in her room for 45 minutes. She bawled the whole time.
Good.

Fast forward to today. She and her friend Noah are playing all afternoon with no incident. Almost anyway. I come out of my bedroom from folding laundry and walk into the hallway by the office. I smell toothpaste. (if only she'd do stuff that had no smell, maybe she'd get away with this crap!) Phoebe is just sitting there watching Martha speaks, so not her. I follow my nose up the stairs and hear the bathroom door being promptly shut and locked. I knock and say
"daphne, are you playing with toothpaste?"
She says "No, i'm just going to the bathroom". likely.
Me: "then why is Noah in there, you know you don't go to the bathroom in front of boys?"
Silence... but this time it's not golden.
Me: "Noah, are you in there?"
... a little "yes" comes from the other end.
"Noah open the door".
He opens it and , sure enough, there is toothpaste all over the sink and part of the counter. Not as much I was thinking, but still a mess. But wait.... why did I smell it so strongly clear from downstairs?
"Daphne, is it anywhere else?"
"no" followed by that stare that tells me it is.
I again follow my nose into her bedroom where sitting on the floor is a little dog water bowl (a toy one) smeared with toothpaste. I bring it into the bathroom where Daphne is still playing the charade that she was going the bathroom, so she's still on the pot.
Noah was trying to hide in the little nook next to the bookcase.
Again, I ask "DAPHNE, IS IT ON ANYTHING ELSE?"
Noah: "just on her teddy bear. But I didn't do it, but I just watched."
I believe him because, hello, have you not just read this post!?! I wasn't even mad though and Daphne saw right through me. I mean it's just toothpaste, it can wash off. So Daphne smiles and says "I was being a scientist mom."

And this little one likes to go potty. Does she leave anything in there? No, but she sure enjoys the thrill of sitting, wiping and flushing.